Like many people, I have been quiet these few months, navigating the turbulent waters of the pandemic, social justice activism, and a mind-numbing presidential election. Life is anything but mundane, and I felt the need to pull back somewhat from the many forms of outreach that had been an important resource in the early months of COVID 19.
In September, I started a new job as hospice liaison for Visiting Nurse Services of New York, an organization I had always admired. The job makes good use of every skill and training I have ever had and I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to serve in this way, as well as what it provides for me and my family (dental insurance!). At 55, I feel lucky indeed.
But the work can be tough, and it has made me look at self-care in a different way. Instead of understanding self-care as a maintenance program, I have come to see it more as self-compassion. I try to walk everyday, yes, and maybe do some yoga. I meditate, yes, usually every day. I try to make good choices when it comes to food and drink and sleep. But these are more like party favors, as it turns out.
The real sustenance, the real self-care, is more like love. Is more like self-compassion of the Kristin Neff kind (https://self-compassion.org/). It is recognizing where you are at any given moment, and encircling your entire imperfect self with the kind of heart-centered care you would unconditionally offer to a friend or partner or child. It is not striving for perfection, or improvement even, or any other thing. It is a deep abiding love and understanding for your own self at this moment as a beautiful and perfect entity in a beautiful and perfect world, such as it is, even when we don’t have the capacity to see it that way. It is knowing that we are in the ocean instead of searching for the water. This is a practice. Not always so easy.
Two films to watch as we slide into the new year:
Dalai Lama, Scientist on Amazon Prime follows the collaboration with renowned scientists and His Holiness
Soul on the Disney channel is the animated story of a young jazz musician and his experiences with the afterlife (look out for Dorothea’s story of the 2 fish and the ocean)
May 2021 offer health and well-being, joyful reunion with loved ones and compassion toward strangers.
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu
Om shanti, shanti, shanti
Namaste